Bear and I are walking.
Bear: “Don’t be impatient.”
We are in the cave. I can’t forget Mackenzie saying she “knows,” her face twisted, shouting because I'm quiet and distant – I was thinking about something interesting. I find myself on my knees in the cave, then standing and playing with earth, with the silver starlight water-that-is-not-water waterfall. Everything is disjointed. I catch glimpses of possible futures: 
jobs, community, safety, fuck-you money, prosperity, connecting, creating, dogs. 
peace, power in self, confidence. 

Remember the interview: 
“that’s not reporting, that’s building infrastructure so you can report.”
Remember Amanda: 
“I'm glad to hear you’re proud of yourself. This is a huge accomplishment. Not just because you learned something new. Last time we did this it took two people three days. You did it in five hours while learning something new.”

I took the silver starlight water-that-is-not-water and shaped a thread, a hose, a vine. I plugged it into/through the wall. Despite us being underground, the starlight spread across the night sky like spiderwebs. Turning to look at Bear, I shrugged. I didn’t have words for what I had done, but knew it was right. 
“What about the other elements? The earth, and growing things, perhaps?
Bear: “you need to learn them, to remember and build the tools.”
“Where is the Alchemist?”
Bear: “Waiting for you to build your tools. Pour some whiskey tonight and ask.”
“Can I have some? What if I have more water than whiskey?” 

We debate this for a bit. I need to drink more water than whiskey. 

It’s time to go, but I don’t have to leave. 
What does it mean, what does it look like, to step into my power? 
This is not a new learning, for me, but rather, a remembering. How do I remember my tools? 
Bear: “Ask the Alchemist.”

I learn:
Stag is watching over Other People. 
I have many lessons to learn. We all do. 

I build. I connect. I see things that don’t make sense. I see need and excess, capacity and lack.
Stag needs me to trust myself. 

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